Today - the most devastating day in my entire life. I feel like I’ve lost everything. Everything. I don’t have anything to call my own anymore. I’m feeling so down and my confidence level just went straight down to hell. For a moment, my heart aches. The next, it doesn’t. And then, I burst. It is so bad that I have to put on fake smiles, fake laughs in front of everyone so they don’t get worried. I can’t let anyone see how I am, especially my mother. She’ll be really sad and I don’t want her to be sad. I’m really at the bottom this time. I don’t know how long I can survive but this is only the beginning. The road is tough, I can only blame myself because I chose this road and there is no turning back at all. I can only trust that God will show me the way.